Two For One Special

A lot of my friends still talk to their exes and are all still friendly with them, this to me is a foreign concept considering the fact that almost all of my exes are crazier than any of Britney's personalities. But then there are also the general idiots that while they are not crazy - they remain an "ex" for a reason and there is no reason to ever contact them.

One particular ex attained both special qualities of being an idiot and a psycho - I got the two for one special that day. That was David and because we dated for a while, we knew each other pretty well and had a great time together. At least until one night when he started hitting on a good friend of mine and asked her for her number....while in my home, and in my presence! Such a fucking idiot. So after everyone left that night, David stayed behind and expected to have sex. Umm....are you fucking kidding me?? He actually had the audacity to tell me that he didn't think that I would mind or care. Okay, so maybe he was a little bit more delusional than I thought, that's actually putting it nicely because I called him lots of things that night in many different vocabularies and languages for that matter.

After about six months and many failed attempts, David finally stopped contacting me. But it only lasted a while until I got a couple of 'drunk and dial' messages from him in the middle of the night; he left messages of PORN videos playing in the background. Yup, that's right, PORN with girls screaming in the background either "fuck me now" or just screaming to God and just shouting the general "yes, fuck me harder!"

What is wrong with you?

Okay crazy, take your pills and step away from the porn videos. Get a girlfriend (the kind that doesn't blow up) and move on.

On a scale of one to crazy - he ranked pretty high on my list!