7 Messages from Jack The Psycho

Remember that scene in the movie Swingers with Jon Favreau leaving ridiculous messages on the girls answering machine? Yea, I totally gave that psycho my number. His name was Jack, and actually we never even went out on a date, I met him at a club and we exchanged numbers. Well, that Monday night I came home to about 7 messages on my machine… all from Jack.

And it started something like this….. “Hi this is Jack, we met on Saturday night and I just wanted to call you and say hi and chat, maybe we can go out for dinner, I know a great place that just opened up and I'd love to take you there. Give me a call and hopefully we can get to know each other.”

2nd Message, about 30 minutes later…. “Hi, it’s Jack again, just checking to see if you’re around, give me a call when you get home, would love to talk to you.”

3rd Message…. “Hi it’s Jack. My friend just came over and we’re cooking some food, I wanted to invite you over for some home cooking, and we can hang out. Okay call me when you get a chance.”

4th Message... “Hi, this is Jack’s friend, Tony, I came over to Jack’s and he’s cooking some dinner and, if you’re around you should come over and join us. Jack is a great guy, you guys should talk. So when you get home, give Jack a call, okay bye.” (with Jack in the background shouting 'call me')

5th message... “Hey, me jack again - my friend left, but if you still want to come over, I have a bottle of wine, umm okay well just call me back.”

6th.... “hey, so I don’t know if you are ignoring me or if you are really busy, but just checking in. ok, call me.”

7th..... “I’m going to bed now and wanted to tell you to ‘go fuck yourself’ and don’t bother calling me!”


Yes girls, all these messages in the course of about 5 hours --- Painful, but true.

WTF - Caller of the Day

I met Peter in a bar a few weeks ago, very brief conversation, he was cute and we exchanged email addresses. And then shortly afterwards, we went on a date. About 5 minutes into our date, I detected a 'red alert' on my 'this guys is crazy' radar. So needless to say, I laughed at his jokes, so that he wouldn't cut my head off and shove me in his trunk, and called it a night - making sure never to call him again . The next week or so, I received about three emails, two texts, two voicemails, and a couple of 'private' numbers on my cell. I just ignored him, as I usually tend to do, until they just get tired and give up.

However, this one went a little bit farther than the usual crazies. I get a phone call this morning - at 5 am- and it's him, Peter. I wanted to tell him off, but I didn't answer it. I later listened to his voicemail and was actually dumbfounded by the clarity of his craziness -- his message was this:

"hi, this is peter, we went out a couple weeks ago and you haven't returned my calls, we had a good time, you giggled...anyway, it's like about 5am and I'm sorry for calling so early, I guess you'll be waking up in an hour or so.....um, just wanted to say that you should have called me back 'cuz you missed out on a really great guy. I met a girl off match and we had sex yesterday, and I didn't think it was appropriate to go out with you again. Just wanted to say you missed out on the 'f*ck' of your life! And...um, have a good start to your week and a great day! And if you ever wanna have a good rock in the hey...well gimme a call sometime 'cuz I'll rock your world! And I know you'll like it -- Ciao"


Okay, WTF??? My radar is always right.

Sooner or later, the crazy just comes out.

(The actual audio will soon be posted and you can all hear it for yourselves!!)