Cheaters

The other day I was watching the hilarious TV show, Cheaters, and thought how lucky I was that the show didn't exist when I dated Henry. He was cheating on me with my best friend, Shavon, who's boyfriend (Tony) secretly sent me roses every week. But when I found out, all hell did not break loose, I just walked away from everyone. And I never looked back.

And although I never got to knock anyone out, or rip anyone's head off, or bash anyone against the wall, or kick anyone's nuts, I definitely had the last laugh. And after a few rounds of Tequila Sunrise (my drink of choice at the time) I realized my life was less stressful and much happier. I was especially smitten after everyone found out that skanky cheating slut, Shavon, was pregnant and didn't know who the father was! Yea, they definitely belonged on Jerry Springer. And Henry, well I already described his post-traumatic break-up psycho story about how he stalked me the following year (crazy cheating psychos always return with a vengeance).

In the end, it was my female intuition that led me to the conclusion that Henry was definitely creepin around....and since men are stupid, it was easy to get it out of him. But for those of you who may need some extra help, I came across this article from one of my favorite blogs: Dave Zinczenko's Mysteries of the Sexes Explained

It's an eye-opener, but I don't totally buy it all, it's the female intuition that is much more reliable! Just make sure you change your phone number after you break up with his lying dumb ass!

When To Dump Him

I just read this article about 'when it's time to your boyfriend'....and I have to say it was definitely my chuckle of the day. I mean the article doesn't say anything that a woman shouldn't already know, come on if your man has two phones and ignores you....umm yea it's time to go. But then again, I would just stop returning phone calls when I was done with a guy. Once I even waited for my boyfriend to return from vacation to tell him that I started dating someone else. What -- I thought that we were on a break? Well, in my defense, we didn't see too much of each other and he was a little dumb - okay extremely dumb. He just happened to make up for it in other ways ;)

Anyway, back to my story - one of my ex-boyfriends once missed Valentine's Day, without a phone call and didn't even give a proper explanation or apology. He actually told me that he "fell asleep." Yes, that is what he told me. I knew he was obviously screwing some little tramp. So I just calmly and collectively told him that I was done with him and his sorry ass - and I threw the diamond bracelet he gave me down the sewer. I wish I had a camera because the look on his face was priceless! And even though he stalked me for a year, beat up my next boyfriend and threatened my life, Henry eventually got the hint and left me alone.

But I think it was the restraining order that finally made him succumb to our very imminent break up....I'm still not sure.

Anyhow, if you ladies aren't sure when it's time to call it quits....maybe this article will help you out:

When Is It Time To Dump Him? (Men's Helath Magazine)

And girls, in case you didn't already know, they always come back...so beware because the crazy also follows!