Drama at the Funeral Home

Well, no male psycho stories would be complete without a Gio story. We were together ages ago, for about 3 years...on and off. And it was sweet at first and then it got ugly and then the third time we tried it out again...well, he was a full-fledge psycho. Yea, many stories involve him....but one incident stood out the most. One night he got really pissed off at me because i was going out to a club with my friends...and blah, blah, blah he wound up following me. As the night went on, I saw his face appear through the crowd while I was on the dance floor. No one else saw him and my friends thought i was just drunk. Not the case. Sure enough, we go back to my car, and the window is smashed in. Our purses and wallets and valuables were left in the car, untouched. However a bag with my books were taken. WTF? I didn't understand or know what was going on...but i did see a pack of marlboro cigs that were left in the backseat...i didn't smoke them but i knew who did.

The next day, I received a phone call from the manager of a Funeral home. Yes, Funeral Home. He said that someone dropped off a stack of books on their doorstep that night. He got my number off a note left in a book...I had to go to the Funeral home to pick up my stuff and it was soooo spooky walking in there. I checked out all the pages in the books and I later found the note with my number (not my handwriting) and some creepy words too....well Gio of course denied it forever. Who does that? crazy psycho!

You would think that I would have learned my lesson, but sadly a few months later we tried yet another crazy round. Those stories require a bottle of vodka and some southern comfort, maybe some whiskey....and a shot of tequila...maybe three.

Yup -- sooner or later, the CRAAAAAAZY just comes out and kicks you in the ass!

7 Messages from Jack The Psycho

Remember that scene in the movie Swingers with Jon Favreau leaving ridiculous messages on the girls answering machine? Yea, I totally gave that psycho my number. His name was Jack, and actually we never even went out on a date, I met him at a club and we exchanged numbers. Well, that Monday night I came home to about 7 messages on my machine… all from Jack.

And it started something like this….. “Hi this is Jack, we met on Saturday night and I just wanted to call you and say hi and chat, maybe we can go out for dinner, I know a great place that just opened up and I'd love to take you there. Give me a call and hopefully we can get to know each other.”

2nd Message, about 30 minutes later…. “Hi, it’s Jack again, just checking to see if you’re around, give me a call when you get home, would love to talk to you.”

3rd Message…. “Hi it’s Jack. My friend just came over and we’re cooking some food, I wanted to invite you over for some home cooking, and we can hang out. Okay call me when you get a chance.”

4th Message... “Hi, this is Jack’s friend, Tony, I came over to Jack’s and he’s cooking some dinner and, if you’re around you should come over and join us. Jack is a great guy, you guys should talk. So when you get home, give Jack a call, okay bye.” (with Jack in the background shouting 'call me')

5th message... “Hey, me jack again - my friend left, but if you still want to come over, I have a bottle of wine, umm okay well just call me back.”

6th.... “hey, so I don’t know if you are ignoring me or if you are really busy, but just checking in. ok, call me.”

7th..... “I’m going to bed now and wanted to tell you to ‘go fuck yourself’ and don’t bother calling me!”


Yes girls, all these messages in the course of about 5 hours --- Painful, but true.